Open Hand, Open Heart

All my hopes, dreams, fears, and doubts
I hold in my hands,
Emptied from my heart .

Some surprises and some ‘old friends’
Greeted me as they entered my hands.
I struggled to contain everything in my grip,
Not wanting to let one thing slip through
My fingers.

You sit with me, letting me tell You
About each thing I’m holding-
Every memory, hurt, passion-
No matter how long it takes.

When I’m finished, when I feel heard,
You ask me to give them all to You-
To empty my hands completely.
And I hesitate.

Empty hands mean no control,
No agenda, no say.
Right?
I feel the butterflies awaken
In my abdomen. Scared.

As I wrestle with letting go,
It occurs to me that empty hands
Are open hands.
Open to Your possibilities,
Desires, healing, comfort
And plan.

They are open to whatever comes
For however long You give it to me.
I need not cling to something
Because of fear or excitement.
I need not release something
Before the lesson is learned.

I open my hands, my heart
To Your timing,
To Your plan. Give me
What You will.

May I trust You while always
Keeping them open,
Never clasped, never sealed;
Even when confused, hurt,
Or thinking my best
Is better than Yours.