A little while ago, I asked you all to weigh in on your thoughts of dependability. I loved what you all had to say! So, since I asked your opinions without giving my thoughts, I wanted to share what I have been marinating on lately.
As I’ve talked about before, I’m a very self-sufficient person. I can make big decisions, develop and execute a plan, dissect my reasoning and emotions, and handle most situations by myself. I don’t need to turn to others for…well most things. It’s not always because I think I’m better than someone else but more because I do not trust others to get the job done. And so, I learned to just depend on myself because I know I am dependable.
As many of you mentioned, we are human and because of that we often fail. I’m sure most of us can recall times in our lives when we really needed someone and that person was no where to be found. I’m sure many of us can remember deep hurts of a time a friend or family member didn’t show up when we needed them.
I know I can.
Over the past few years, I’ve really been trying to learn to lean into others wisdom, input, support, and help. Now, I’m not saying I’m good at it. I often tell myself This person has enough on their plate, I’ll just handle it myself or Why bother them with that small worry? It’s silly anyways or Well I know I can do it, so I’ll figure out a way; I’m smart. I all too easily talk myself out of asking for help. Maybe it’s because it’s hard for me to trust that others will handle my mess well. Maybe it’s because I want to prove I am strong enough to do it myself. Maybe it’s because I haven’t known many people to be for me; truly for me.
Dependability is closely intertwined with loyalty to me and I do not take either of those lightly. I want to be a dependable person, someone my friends can look to without hesitation. I want to be faithful to my word through my actions.
But I know I can’t do this alone. I know I must first depend on God: His love, His faithfulness, His more-than-enough-ness so it can spill ovver to my relationships. I will fail and others will fail me. I must hold loosely to the hurts that brokenness has caused and instead focus my heart on the One who will never abandon or forsake me.
How do you depend on God?