I see her standing in the sun-kissed clearing, brow furrowed, lips gently pursed. Her hands are folded gracefully in her silk covered lap. She was luminous, her skin seemed to be made only of light- it left a soft shadowy ring around her on the crisp, green grass. I feel myself gravitating towards her although my hands are trembling. Small rainbows catch my eye as the sun shines through the thin mist engulfing the clearing. It’s as if the mist protects her- dares intruders to approach her, to destroy the only purely beautiful creation left on this earth.
She looks up slowly, not wanting to lift her eyes from the playful rainbows all around. I take it as a small warning. And, suddenly, our eyes meet and my chest constricts. I can feel her searching my soul, my being. The depths of my heart leap, try to retreat.
Then, it’s over- the examination of who I am. I fear what she saw, what she now knows. I try to read her striking face, hoping to see approval, compassion, and (dare I even think it?) love. But all I see are her full, clear eyes. And in that second, I know that she knows more about me than I could ever hope to know about myself. I scan my mind for deep, almost forgotten memories. My head slowly bows in shame, realizing the ugliness she has just seen.
How can I soil her beauty, her peace, her light with my blackened mistakes?
I slump to my knees, heart too heavy to support. My eyes close as I try to reconcile my imperfection with…her.
As I sit there, burdened by my own past, I feel gentle pressure on my shoulder.
‘My name is Wisdom,’ she says melodiously.
‘Stay here, with me, and let my light saturate the darkness of the depths of your soul. The longer you stay, the lighter your heart will be. Look around you to these trees whose roots drink deeply form my stream called Truth. Their leaves do not wither and at each harvest, their fruit is abundant and ripe. Become like these trees who plant their roots in my ways. Leave your foolish choices for my life-giving clearing.’
I rise and dip my feet in the cool, sweet Truth. My thirst leaves me, my shame shadowed by hope. At this moment I know I will be one of Wisdom’s trees- prosperous, grand, and lush- for all my days.
* * *
A reflection on my meditation on Psalm 1