Is it night? Day?
I can hardly tell anymore.
The canopy of intertwined branches are laced so tightly,
no sunlight makes it through the woven branches.
As much as I try, I cannot make my eyes adjust to the dim lighting.
I’ve long ago stopped using my Lamp- it’s not showing me a path;
it’s merely a flickering light in this stifling forest.
So, alone I wander; tripping over tree roots, running into low-hanging vines.
All the while hoping I’m moving towards a clearing.
It’s crossed my mind that I may just be headed further into the thick trees.
I don’t trust my compass.
Following it just makes me feel like I’m walking in circles
as I seem to recognize
the same tree…or
at least I think it’s the same tree.
Questions fill my mind but I have no answers.
Q: How long have I been here?
Q: Why am I here?
Q: Is there even a way out?
This cyclical logic is exhausting.
No answers lead to assumptions, which seem to only reinforce my frustration, fear, and defeat.
The bearing of truth has completely left me.
All I know to be true is I see dense trees.
I am among the trees.
I cannot see further than one tree layer at a time.
So what do I do?
Lay down and resign? Or keep moving, fighting, resisting the lies of defeat?
* * *
Tears stream down my face as I watch her wander aimlessly.
I gave her My Lantern to guide the path I set before her.
she refuses to use it.
She circles the same set of trees day in and day out.
I hear her crying out to me. I catch each of her tears.
She’s not yet ready to give up her sense of control on the situation.
She’s not yet ready to admit she needs me,
despite how faithful I’ve been.
I see the forest she is in, I know just how to guide her out.
I have already picked out the spot she is to exit the forest
and enter her new life.
I know her hope is rapidly leaving.
I know she is losing her fight for her dreams.
I will wait patiently, lovingly as she realizes she cannot do this alone.
I will be ready with arms wide open when she lays down her will.
I’m ready for her to join me in her plan. When will she be ready?