I’m still in my desert. I have a feeling I’m going to be here for…a while. I’ve pitched my tent of anger, of justification. I’ve decorated my tent with murals of reasons why I’m not willing to move, pictures of what I want my life to look like to hide the reality of my situation. I know in my mind that God has something waiting for me on the other side of the desert, but right now it’s hard to even see the end of the desert. And I like my tent because I’ve made it exactly how I want it without asking Anyone.
I’ve made life here and that scares me.
I’ve missed times where God has provided mana because I was too upset that I wasn’t eating meat. I’ve been too engrossed in my own world, that I forget to look for God’s faithfulness. I don’t want to do the work involved in moving out of my desert because I know it’s going to be hard work: trudging through the junk in my heart in order to leave this desert.
The worst part is that I did not even realize I was so comfortable in my desert.
Double scary.
I have such a long way to go until I reach the Promised Land God has prepared for me. Some days I’m too heart-tired to try to work through my junk. Other days I’m too angry. There’s always a reason and not enough action. I know the desert is a time of preparation, refining, and cultivating character. I know God is leading me towards a land of Living More Like Him. And in a way, I’m thankful for the desert because it means He’s trusting me more.
My sprinting has reminded me that God is walking with me, holding my hand, guiding me, and doing wonders in my life so I know that when I leave the desert it is because of Him, not me.
Proems on Not Yet 
Amen.
and
((hugs))
I’ll walk with you. Might as well – I’m already there. hehe
If you get lost, just ask me for directions. Been circling this place for far too long!
PS SOOO excited for next week!!!
I can relate.
Not sure why you were upset about not eating meat though… 🙂
Haha to the meat comment, Katie! Maybe I should have said ‘veggie burgers’ as well for all you veggies out there =)
mmmm, oh the desert.
“trudging through the junk in my heart.” –that right there, that’s been my…oh i don’t know last year at least. my heart is messy, but God often reminds me that in that beautiful messy heart, He gives me an opportunity to just be. to let Him do what He’s already planned. He’s already gone before us and yet He walks beside us as well.
praying for you as we continue to sprint. we’re almost out of the desert at least in terms of reading 🙂
I think we’ve been in the desert about the same amount of time. I’m restless to leave but am scared to take the first step…odd combination! Thanks for the reminder of His restoration and the importance of letting Him work while I rely on Him.
So glad we’re sprinting together!!