I feel scatter brained. I feel like I’m in the midst of a swirling vortex of lessons God is trying to teach me all at once. And, while I appreciate Him so actively refining me…I’d kind of like a break so I can catch my breath and absorb all there is to each lesson…individually. Sure, some of them are linked (authenticity and transparency for example) but I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. My heart isn’t in shape for this wrestling match. It feels tired and sore and I seem to keep finding new bruises.
…As I write this, it occurs to me that I need to stop fighting and start trusting.
Oh look….another lesson.
In all of this all I can do is throw up my hands and say “God, I can’t do this. I need you.” And in that there is hope because I’m learning I can’t be in control.
…And that is freeing.