I’ve been stuck in a rut lately. A rut of feeling like I’m merely existing and not actually living. I wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, wake up, etc. I am hopeful that there is change on the horizon but I feel a bit in limbo. I’m in between where I was and where I’m going. Existing.
With the start of Lent today, I have spent the last week or so really examining my days to figure out why I don’t feel like I am living. I wanted to give up something that would discipline me as well as enrich me. Now, I know that Lent is a season of sacrifice and preparation (and yes, I’m even a little skeptical of the people who give up desserts because I secretly think they want to lose this time to lose weight instead of focusing on God). However, the enrichment I’m hoping for is spiritual and relational. During my examination, I realized that when I come home from work I usually escape and watch Hulu. I want to forget about my day and escape my hyper mind and enter the lives of characters on TV. Instead of spending time with God, reading books that challenge me, or even organizing my room I watch Hulu. This may seem like an odd thing to give up during Lent, but it’s going to force me to face some things I’ve been putting off. It’s going to force me to work on my relationship with God. It’s going to force me to look to my future and make some decisions. It’s going to force me to live and not just exist.
So, I’ll see you (maybe) in forty days 24, Modern Family, The Bachelor (yes, I watch it but it’s the first season I’ve ever followed), The Good Wife, Bones, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Castle, Psych, and NCIS.